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04 February 2010 08:25
Atlanta, GA UPS Headquarters – In a sharp turn away from the recent news that FedEx is possibly going to take over German-based shipper DHL, United Parcel Service [UPS] today announced that it is buying long-time competitive shipper, USPS [United States Postal Service]. The new company will be called U-2P3S – something that will probably [...]
Posted in Biz News0 Comments
04 February 2010 05:36
Alcatraz, CA – Thinking about deducting those drinks that you had Friday night as a business expense? You are not alone. Looking for some last minute tax deductions? Well, we can’t help you, but we do have some tips on deductions to help you avoid the wrath of the IRS. IRS 1040 Tax Form.
Posted in Biz News0 Comments
04 February 2010 02:36
A former Fox News employee is threatening to file a lawsuit in New York District Court against News Corp, the parent company of Fox News Channel, and Fox News President, Roger Ailes, claiming that she was wrongfully terminated when she told the HR manager that she could no longer work closely with Mr. Ailes due [...]
Posted in Biz News, Television1 Comment
03 February 2010 12:42
Zuni and Hopi, the twin prairie dogs, came out of their burrow in Terry, Montana and prophesied six more frigid weeks in Montana on Friday, January 29, 2010 at 4:30 p.m. sharp. That is three days earlier than when their cousin Phil in Pennsylvania usually comes out for his annual prognostication on winter weather.
Posted in Human Interest0 Comments
03 February 2010 05:35
Programming ceased today at the popular 700 Club network, as Pat Robertson was rushed to the hospital. The 79 year old televangelist complained of “like needles sticking in me all over, particularly in the crotch area.” The attack came as the religous leader was taping part 2 of an ongoing expose on Voodoo and tectonic [...]
Posted in Religionism0 Comments
03 February 2010 02:35
Richmond, VA As many of you may already know, due to circumstances not entirely out of our control, many of our original sponsors have pulled their support from the first National Tea Party Convention scheduled to take place on February 4-6, 2010 in Nashville, TN. Because of this, and the higher than expected fee(s) we [...]
Posted in Politics0 Comments
02 February 2010 05:36
Detroit, Mich. (GlossyNews): General Motors Corporation announced today the release of a line of high-tech vehicles designed to meet the demands of environmentally conscious consumers, as well as the new federal green-technologies regulations. According to a company spokesman, “The new biodegradable car, made entirely of remaindered Crocs, will return GM to international prominence as a [...]
Posted in Technology1 Comment
02 February 2010 02:40
Johnny “Handsome” Marzetti sits in a jail cell awaiting sentencing for the attempted sexual assault on Donna Fuctwidder. He’s looking at 7-15 years in state prison for his crime. But Johnny’s had some time to put together a lawsuit of his own…against his intended victim and a few of the employees over at the Essex [...]
Posted in Crime0 Comments
01 February 2010 11:23
Upon hearing that Michigan defense contractor, Trijicon, has been supplying the US military with rifle sights inscribed with New Testament Bible passage references on them, Sarah Palin contacted the company’s headquarter offices to try and pull some strings to get a few of the rifle sights for her own hunting rifles.
Posted in Politics, Strange People0 Comments
01 February 2010 07:12
Mission statements are a modern attempt to give pretend meaning and an acceptable facade to the corporation in its never ending pursuit of profits. They are the true intentions and purposes of the business, supposedly. The problem is that the facade is leaning and the meaning is muddled. If we could see the corporate executive’s [...]
Posted in Biz News0 Comments
31 January 2010 09:32
This scene was captured by one of our authors last week, but we can’t publish it under her name because she was subsequently disqualified for using performance enhancing substances. We will still publish it, but we can’t give her credit, and our thanks to Roger Freed for picking up the torch where she passed out, [...]
Posted in Events0 Comments
31 January 2010 05:24
The headlines read: “Americans Held Taking Children from Haiti.” It then goes on to report that a group of 10 Baptists mostly from Idaho, but also from Texas and Kansas formed the “Haitian Orphan Rescue Mission” in order to go into Haiti, “scoop up 100 orphans” out of the wreckage of Haiti and ultimately [...]
Posted in Serious Commentary0 Comments
31 January 2010 08:47
Dear Hank, I’ve got a real problem. I’m considering taking a walk down the aisle for the 4th time and I already know how it’s going to end…in divorce. Why? Because I am the one responsible for the merry-go-round that is my marital history. I know what I’m doing wrong, but I can’t seem to stop myself [...]
Posted in Society2 Comments
30 January 2010 06:12
Hard-core Republicans, also known in some circles as the ‘Evil Empire’, plan to have their Death Star fully operational by the 2012 election. The Death Star, which is believed to have the capacity to neutralize the minds of an entire planet, was adopted from designs stolen from George Lucas’s studios ans used by Vladimir Putin [...]
Posted in Politics0 Comments
30 January 2010 03:26
The long-awaited news has finally arrived. TLC has just announced the name and format for Kate’s solo show, sans Jon and Kids. The show is tentatively named Kate: TheTaming of the Shrewd, and it features Kate each week being employed by B- through D-rated reality stars, who give Kate some much needed lessons in humility [...]
Posted in Television7 Comments
30 January 2010 01:11
WEST CHESTER, PA. – The civilized world was gobsmacked yesterday by Jesus’ off-hand remark that there are roughly 150 people in heaven. That’s 1-to-the-5-plus-0, period, the population of septic fields like Armpit, New Mexico, and Chowder Falls, Wisconsin. If your brain hurts from trying to cope with the notion that there are fewer people in [...]
Posted in Religionism1 Comment
30 January 2010 04:19
If you’d looked at this a year ago, you’d have found that Perez Hilton was either a no-talent ass-clown or one of the biggest trend-setter bloggers in the western world. But if you look at him today you’ll find he’s made some sinister pact with Viacom, and he’s paying it backwards, as he’s wont to [...]
Posted in Internets Tubes2 Comments
29 January 2010 05:05
VATICAN CITY – Pope Benedict XVI, who threatened condom users in Africa with excommunication last year, is now taking aim on wet dreams. In an encyclical entitled God Owns the Night the supreme pontiff warned Catholics that they “cannot seek refuge in sleep” in order to enjoy illicit sexual activities.
Posted in Religionism1 Comment
mike: fckin hilarious..what a brilliant mind..dam the ac...
stu: Right out of his sewer mind, and out his butt....
Tom: Ron, this is a _fictitious_ story ...that long wo...
Копии брендов: This is hilarious!
"Inviting them to a party" is ...
P. Beckert: Just wonderin' Ron, you by any chance heading over...
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